A Mexican lunch from hell

So last Saturday the fam and I are out and want to eat some lunch..It was a beautiful day, the weather was absolutely gorgeous...75..sunny..a little windy. We wanted to dine alfresco, so Tim picked the mexican restaurant in Lake St. Louis that overlooks the lake. Beautiful view. We are seated at a table and the server puts up the umbrella over us... Why is it always breezier by lakes?

and onto hell...

The wind seemed to pick up and within 30 seconds of sitting down, caught the umbrella and the umbrella started lifting off, for takeoff. Tim stands up quickly and grabs it and shoves it back down. The server brings us out silverware and extra napkins with our salsa and chips. Wind catches the chip basket. I catch the basket before it goes to the ground. Wind catches the umbrella again. Tim catches the umbrella. There go the extra napkins. Why didn't I put the wrapped silverware on them? The girls wanted menus, so we're all holding up our huge menus and figuring out what we want to order, while putting the chips back in the basket. Wind catches Tatum's menu, buh bye. It's blown down the hill already, on it's way to the boulevard and then probably into the lake. Wind catches the umbrella. Tim catches it. Oh yay. A huge ass bumble bee is by us. Girls freak out. I swat it away with a menu. Wind catches the umbrella. Tim catches umbrella, slides it back down and knocks the salsa over. He sits. I clean. Girls getting cranky b/c of the bugs. I'm getting cranky b/c its so ridiculously windy and I forgot my sunglasses at home and the sunshine is quite abundant. We order. There goes the umbrella.. Tim catches it. We get our food 3 minutes later (that's what I love about this mexican restaurant.it's sitting all day in a vat, just waiting for you to order it). And the umbrella lifts off again..Tim is grumpy and eating while holding the umbrella. Oh yay. Wasps are swarming. Gosh, I love spring. Girls get anxious and started whining about wasps and getting stung. There go the chips. Why are we not sitting inside? Tim says we already got our food, let's just eat fast and get out of there... He wants to pour salsa over whatever he is eating, let's go of umbrella. 3...2...1 There goes the umbrella again. Lift off. Tatum's hair is in her eyes and she can't see. Crying child #1. A wasp is flying near Kenz. Crying child #2. A kid at another table screams b/c of a bee. Gosh, these shrimp nachos are good....all 2 of the chips that I've had the chance to eat in 10 minutes. Kids want to go inside. Won't calm down until they do.. Tim's head is getting ready to blow right off his neck. I tell them to go inside. I'll just finish up eating and get the check. They go inside.and 3..2..1... I try to grab the umbrella. It's heavier than it looks. Oh shit. It's tilted to the side and trying to blow away even more. What the hell is with this wind? I've got a chip in one hand..I'm chewing and the umbrella is going crazy and whipping around. I look inside. All 3 of them are laughing and pointing at me. Finally, the server comes around and I try to calmly request the check..but I'm sure it came out angrily and I scared him. I pay and we leave. I'm so upset, when we get home I just go to bed and quickly fall asleep.

I'm on a roll with the blogging. Things I've learned on Twitter

I started following Demi and Ashton, but didn't know what the hell they were talking about and they were tweeting too often and I'd miss my friends tweets, so I stopped following them.

Heidi Montag blogs a lot about how she's alive and is always thanking Jesus. I guess it surprised me a little. I mean..I watch The Hills.

Spencer Pratt does nothing but tweet about how hot Heidi looks in pictures.

Punky Brewster, I mean, Soleil Moon Frye tweets too often and I had to stop following her, because I was getting annoyed by her tweets about how she misses hanging out with Demi and Ashton.

I found out who Susan Boyle is on Jimmy Fallon's tweet this morning. I guess I'm the last person to know who she is.. I need to watch her Youtube video.

Gayle King is new to Twitter. I had to follow her. My best friend Gayle. My best friend Gayle. We know that Gayle is your best friend OPRAH! Shut up.

I'm also following Oprah, who is also new to Twitter. She's already tweeted about Sadie.

Anderson Cooper tweets every 30 seconds. How does he get any work done? Can someone explain this to me?

My favorites on Twitter - Michael Ian Black (he's so odd), Jimmy Fallon (he's so funny), Rob Thomas (I love reading what he is doing for some bizarre reason), and Fred Tracey ( I actually LOL when reading his replies to my tweets.)

So I have a miniature Schnauzer...

She's really cute. Tim tricked me into getting her. It's all his fault. I'm learning a lot about puppies. They are funny. They are clumsy. They are forgiving and love you unconditionally. They eat their own poop. And..it takes more than a few hours to potty train them. More like a few months.Just today..She pooped on the floor in the living room..by the time I had ran to get my paper towel and disinfecting wetwipe for the floor..it was gone. She had the shit in her mouth. Great. Lovely. I'm never giving that dog a kiss ever again. I start telling her to spit it out. She looks at me and then drops it on the floor. Ew. I should have kept my mouth shut and let her finish chewing and swallowing it. My gag reflex actually kicked in..

However..that wasn't the first time this dog has grossed me out.A couple of weeks ago, I put a cup of food in her bowl..she ate it like it was going out of style..like there was no tomorrow...and then ran into the living room, where she proceeded to vomit it all up on the floor. By the time I had gone to get..well you know..all the cleaning supplies that I need to clean the floor up, all because of the puppy, she had eaten all of it. Thanks, Francy! The girls and I just stood there, feeling our chins get heavy....not knowing if we were going to vomit ourselves..I would think, though, that she loves us so much, she'd probably eat ours if given the chance also.. I had to clean the little orange spot up, but it was nothing compared to the cup of partially digested Beneful Puppy Food for Small Dogs.

Yesterday, Tatum and I were at the dentist..It was Tatum's turn to sit in the chair. The hygienist was explaining the suction thing to her.

Hygienist: "It sucks up stuff like a vacuum. Have you seen your Mommy vacuum?"
Tatum: "No."

Wth. I swear I vacuum. I was going to explain to the woman that I do, indeed, vacuum daily (the dog shreds everything that is made of paper)..but decided not to.. Next time I go back though.....

I can't stand when the kids make us look like white trash.. Dammit.