So I have a miniature Schnauzer...

She's really cute. Tim tricked me into getting her. It's all his fault. I'm learning a lot about puppies. They are funny. They are clumsy. They are forgiving and love you unconditionally. They eat their own poop. And..it takes more than a few hours to potty train them. More like a few months.Just today..She pooped on the floor in the living room..by the time I had ran to get my paper towel and disinfecting wetwipe for the floor..it was gone. She had the shit in her mouth. Great. Lovely. I'm never giving that dog a kiss ever again. I start telling her to spit it out. She looks at me and then drops it on the floor. Ew. I should have kept my mouth shut and let her finish chewing and swallowing it. My gag reflex actually kicked in..

However..that wasn't the first time this dog has grossed me out.A couple of weeks ago, I put a cup of food in her bowl..she ate it like it was going out of style..like there was no tomorrow...and then ran into the living room, where she proceeded to vomit it all up on the floor. By the time I had gone to get..well you know..all the cleaning supplies that I need to clean the floor up, all because of the puppy, she had eaten all of it. Thanks, Francy! The girls and I just stood there, feeling our chins get heavy....not knowing if we were going to vomit ourselves..I would think, though, that she loves us so much, she'd probably eat ours if given the chance also.. I had to clean the little orange spot up, but it was nothing compared to the cup of partially digested Beneful Puppy Food for Small Dogs.

Yesterday, Tatum and I were at the dentist..It was Tatum's turn to sit in the chair. The hygienist was explaining the suction thing to her.

Hygienist: "It sucks up stuff like a vacuum. Have you seen your Mommy vacuum?"
Tatum: "No."

Wth. I swear I vacuum. I was going to explain to the woman that I do, indeed, vacuum daily (the dog shreds everything that is made of paper)..but decided not to.. Next time I go back though.....

I can't stand when the kids make us look like white trash.. Dammit.