January 9, 2008 - Wednesday
men and directions Current mood: lethargic
I'm sitting here..with this ridiculously annoying and painful cough. I feel good for a while, I feel bad for a while..it's been crazy. I don't think my body knows what to do..
On to the the point of this...Tim, my ball and chain, sees that I am starting to get sick one night last week..He says "I keep seeing that Airborne commercial. I need to get some of that so I don't catch what you have" Me-"Ok. Let's go." We go to Walmart. Have I ever told you that he HATES Walmart? He watched that documentary thing on how Walmart is ruining all small businesses and has been totally against it ever since..however, I am the boss, so we head to Walmart, instead of overpriced Walgreens.
We get there...we're looking for the Airborne, Tim goes to reach for it..I stop him immediately. I grab his hand, look at him and shake my head no... He looks at me puzzled, stops reaching for the Airborne, tries to figure out what I'm looking at then..and sees. I found Equate's AirHealth. There's a store brand of it!!! WOO HOO! He refuses to get it, I tell him that it's just so much less money..He says he's putting his foot down. I tell him that he's crazy and that there is no sense in buying the exact same thing for twice the price. He rolls his eyes..grabs the Airborne..I trip him as he's speedwalking down Aisle 4..He stumbles to the ground..Ok. So that didn't happen. Anyway, he kept refusing to get the off brand. He's so against offbrands..it's ridiculous. I don't get it. I guess most of you know the Eggland's Best story. I sent him to Aldi to get eggs..yadda yadda yadda, he comes back with a Schnucks bag with Egglands Best cage-free fucking eggs. He could have spent less than a dollar...instead he spent $4. Now where was I...OH yes..
So anyway..I'll wrap this little ditty up.We leave Walmart...yadda yadda yadda... Our Walmart bag contained Equate AirHealth.. We get home and I head to bed..He comes in a few minutes later, gagging, his eyes watering...
"Tim, what's wrong?"
He stomps his foot on the floor and starts coughing.
"Are you choking?"
He says that he just took one of those AirHealth tablets..and it was awful and he knew he should have bought the Airborne and all of this is my fault. I reply, "What do you mean you just took one of those Airhealth tablets? What did you put it in?"
"What the hell are you talking about? I just ate one. I put it IN MY MOUTH"
"You chewed it?" I start smiling...
Directions for AirHealth: Drop one effervescent tablet in 4 - 6 ozs of water - let dissolve one minute and drink. Repeat every 3 - 4 hours.
Why do men not read directions?
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